Jaumear

Not long ago I participated in the shooting of an internal video for a Bellmunt’s museum. They picked me as an apprentice “fonador” or the one who extracts lead out of the stone and makes ingots out of it. And it was because, as they told me afterwards, I had a remarkable resemblance with a guy in one of the historic pictures taken years ago (from the back).

Anyway, the fact is I had to start a wild journey to Sant Fruitós del Bages. In the midday train. All filled with screaming mothers and bawling children

-Carmen, don’t stand on the seats.- I don’t hate all children, but la Carmen, uuuuuh, la Carmen… That was not a kid but the most graphic definition ever put on earth (and inside a train) of what annoying means. For an hour and a half la Carmen and I, and her glorious f… mother shared the trip.

Then I got to the shooting set. And my headache and hatred against kids were gone. There it was, like a little piece of heaven turned into a set, the biggest chroma I’ve ever saw in my life.

This was to become a furnace in postproduction.

Just a few arrangements in the atrezzo: stones, shovels and some other tools we’d have to use to fake the lead making process. And, of course, clothes.

And the master, so I could become his apprentice.

If you ever happen to end up in Bellmunt and don’t know what to do, pay a visit to the museum and watch me sweat.

It’s been a while since this picture was taken. So now there’s a mossos’ office where there was a government one (nobody but the workers could ever know what they did in there, obviously)

How to become a perfect Spanish government employee? Tinted windows and an ambiguous message to make people scram. I have to admit, it’s genius. And, just in case, the “CLOSED” sign, maybe somebody would like to try.

Yes, I know, I left my blog godforsaken. But I have been a little sick and, besides, the jaumear productions team have been working in two new shortfilm projects for some contests and they already are in the postproduction phase. So I hope to hang them here soon so the sharky internet criticism can tear them apart. Come what may, the subject that brings us up to this post is non other but a WTJ. Be careful friends, because even hamburgers have small print. Either that or pigs have feathers. Who knows, there are lots of transgenic products out there, so maybe the meat comes from a pig genetically modified with turkey genes. Have fun and eat well. Always keeping an eye on labels, though. That is all for today, we will keep Jaumearing.

*Bird Hamburger. In small print: BURGER MEAT TURKEY AND PIG.

In the picture above, you can read “Ideas regalo brillantes para tu ‘Navida’”, in English: “Brilliant ideas for your ‘Christma’ presents”. Merry Chris… eeeer… eeeeer… “Christming”? I don’t know how to write it anymore. Im’ confused by the new marketing strategies nowadays used downtown in Barcelona. If you ever drop by “Plaça Catalunya”, please don’t forget checking this awesome advertising campaign exhibeted on habitat’s store window. Merry Jamesing to everyone!!

When I started the WTJ wave I wasn’t really expecting to achieve anymore than one. I had little faith in the world’s prevailing caos. Anyway, I was walking through the streets a few days ago when, suddenly, appeared before me a shop window with the suggestive sign you can see. I would even say the light reflection upon gives to it an aura touch. I may add that in my opinion it is a combo per two WTJs: one, because we are in Barcelona, ¿who has a garden here?; and two, because I like the idea of exhibiting garden furniture inside. Great. With some luck there will be more and better, beware, they are out there, threatening us.

I’m driving through the highway and I see one of those traffic sings pointing out that of the four existing lanes, two are going to the left and the other two to the right. I look ahead and just see three lanes. That was my first What the Jaumefuckear. No actual picture. Maybe someday. Thanks to the new technologies not only I own a tactile cool cellphone (which dies from time to time fot it is a bit trashy sucker), but I also carry a digital camera all day long. This fact gave me the chance to take my firts WTJ picture. A heavy one. Pay attention to the marketing technique used to sell this bars: on the box it clearly says 76 kcal per unit. But when you open it up… Surprise! Did I say 76? I meant 83! Don’t get me wrong, I ate them anyway. All of them. Because the important stuff is not that it actually fattens more or less, but the fact that it contains fibre. Sex is overrated, what really makes you wake up with a smile on your face is a nice little visit to doctor poo.