Jaumear

The optimistic: the world smells like flowers.
The pessimistic: that is the smell of shit.
The cynical: you can stand anything with a good air freshener.

In the middle of the battlefield the optimistic soldier sees himself as an invincible superhuman.
The pessimistic curls up on the floor and waits for death while crying inconsolably for the dark destiny he is been given.
The cynical lights up a cigarrette and thinks about how he is going to die for a colorful cloth he would rather use to wipe his ass.
Then there is the patriot, dreaming of glory and the one who actually declared war, who watches everything on television from home, sitting in his favourite armchair.

Every time the optimistic goes out partying he thinks he is going to score, for sure.
The pessimistic, on the contrary, finds himself so full of handicaps he can only think: who will ever want me?
The only certainty the cynical has is the whiskey will not let him down.
And then, there are the ugly who never make out and the handsome, too dumb to be tolerated for more than two days.

The optimistic thinks others’ nature is being good.
The optimistic believes the rest of the world is against him.
The cynical tries to survive by himself, even knowing he can only lose.

The optimistic: in six seconds I can make you smile.
The pessimistic: count up to six… a child just starved to death.
The cynical: how long does an average orgasm last?

The optimistic: she turns the world into a wonderful place.
The pessimistic: whenever she leaves, sadness will kill me.
The cynical: love is nothing more but overrated sex.

The optimistic: carpe diem, you must take the most of every second.
The pessimistic: it’s too late to start doing anything besides waiting for death.
The cynical: ¿so what?, ¿is it time for dinner already?.

The optimistic: life is all joy and love.
The pessimistic: life is too short and full of disappointments.
The cynical: kill me already, please.